Living Dream
by xtwilightzx
Summary: (One-shot) He was the fallen angel, sworn to fulfill his task as the Uchiha avenger. In the name of duty, Sasuke leaves his dreams with the one person he holds dear to his heart. An insight to Sasuke’s thoughts. SasuNaru


**Living Dream.**

one-shot - He was the fallen angel, sworn to fulfill his task as the Uchiha avenger and to reestablish his clan. In the name of duty, Sasuke leaves his dreams with the one person he holds dear to his heart. An insight to Sasuke's thoughts and emotions as Naruto confronts him at the waterfall. (SasuNaru)

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or the characters, although I'd love to have Kakashi and Iruka grins but no, I'm only a poor high school student. **

AN: This fiction was born from a little "challenge" a friend and I did: we were to pick some songs for the other person and she had to write a ficlet based on the SasuNaru pairing. This is a recount of the confrontation Sasuke and Naruto have at the waterfall after Sasuke chooses to join the Sound four. It's a reflection of his thoughts and emotions. There's a lot of dialogue here taken from the manga itself, but I've tried my best to modify it and to add details where I saw fit. Hopefully, you'll see this as more than just a recap of what goes on in the manga. I intended it to be a fic of Sasuke's thoughts and feelings than anything else, really.

EDIT: Well, after ban on any quoting of songs, literary works and whatnot, I had to take the lyrics off this fic. The song I based this fic on was _I Never Had A Dream Come True_ by S Club 7, so keep that in mind while reading this fic; hopefully, it'll make sense even without the lyrics!

For Emi-chan… thanks for betaing this for me!

* * *

Shadows. Fleeting, fluid shadows. They leered maliciously over him, stroking his cowered body with their long, shapeless fingers. Reminding him time and again of who he was.

That's what his dreams consisted of. Ever since that fateful day, that one day that he couldn't wipe out of his memory, the day he became the sole heir of the Uchiha clan, he'd been condemned to walk down the life of an avenger. He was a fallen angel, thrust down from the paradise that was heaven, down into the barren cold earth.

Sasuke's life was anything but sunshine and flowers.

"Sasuke!"

That loud scream, torn from the very soul itself, shocked the raven haired Genin to a standstill.

It was Naruto. Stupid dobe. Didn't he realize that it was futile? That it was useless? Why did he bother with the ice cold Sasuke anyway?

They were standing on opposite sides of the large waterfall, each atop a statue that flanked the sides of the flowing water. The loud crashing sounds of the water falling thousands of feet was deafening; the wisps of spray impaired their vision.

"What the hell do you want, dobe?" The words came out bored, cool.

"I should be asking you that, teme. Where the hell do you think you're going?"

Slowly, he turned around, and he could almost hear Naruto gasp despite the distance between them. He knew what cause it; Orochimaru's curse seal covered half of his face, and he could feel the surges of power that came from the dark marks.

"Hey dobe… is it you this time?"

"Why, Sasuke? WHY! Why are you acting like this?"

He could feel the anger building in the way the blonde stood, in the way his words grew shriller with every call.

"What does any of this have to do with you? I have my own life to lead… and I won't have anyone distract me from that path. I will _not _be lead astray!" _no… not even if it's you, Naruto. _

"The childish, pointless days I spent in Konoha with you Leafs are over."

Sasuke's voice was deep, final, and it didn't encourage disagreement. Any normal person would have backed away from that tone.

Then again, since when was Naruto ever considered normal?

He screamed in defiance; if there wasn't several hundred meters of furiously flowing water between them, Sasuke might have backed away from the fury radiating from the boy.

"What are you saying?" The voice was low, the anger barely restrained. "Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji, Kiba, even that thick brows Lee! They all risked their lives for you, don't you-"

"Good for them. What's that suppose to mean to me?"

Sasuke knew he deserved the punch to the face. How did Naruto managed to get to his side of the river so quickly? That didn't matter. He had to push Naruto away. He couldn't risk it… talking to the blonde might make him change his mind…

"Don't you ever think about your Leaf comrades!" Naruto shrieked, aiming a heavy kick at his face which Sasuke dodged with ease.

Dear silly Naruto.

Didn't he realize that he spent every waking hour of his day thinking about his Leaf comrades… especially one in particular? Didn't he know that a certain loudmouthed blonde with the most brilliant cerulean eyes constantly appeared in his dreams?

That was a silly question to ask, really.

It hurt him more that he chose to acknowledge. Seeing Naruto in front of him reminded Sasuke of just how big a price he had to pay in order to gain power. Could he really live the next few years never looking into those pure blue eyes? Never hearing the loud exclamations that made him smirk out front but smile tolerantly inside his heart?

No, he didn't think so. But to become an avenger, he needed power and he would do anything for it.

So he snapped out in cold indifference, knowing his aloofness would only serve as a catalyst to provoke his fellow teammate into attacking him. Anything to keep those emotions he felt for Naruto hidden and buried.

So in a voice far colder than before, he hissed in Naruto's face. "I'm going to Orochimaru."

Naruto stopped in his tracks, a look of pure disbelief plastered over that vibrant face. "Orochimaru is the bastard who _killed our Hokage_. He tried to destroy our village, and all our friends, our teachers, all of the citizens in it! And now you're telling me that you want to side with the very _killer_ who tried to do all that? Is it just me or have you become even more stupid than before, Sasuke!"

"I don't care."

Those blue, blue eyes locked in a stern, determine gaze. The aura surrounding Naruto became agitated, flowing violently around him. "He's just using you, can't you see that? He's a traitor and a bastard, what makes you think he's going to give you power so easily? You might get killed! You'd never come back! I'm _not going to let you walk into the darkness!_"

Sasuke felt cold fury burst within him. This was wasting his time… he couldn't afford the distraction, and every minute Naruto spent arguing with him meant a little bit more of his heart wanted to stay with the blonde boy.

"If you get in my way… I'll just have to take you out." A slow, cold grin spread across Sasuke's face, the chiseled features marred by the dark marks of Orochimaru's curse seal. "As I recall… our fight at the hospital was interrupted."

There was a look of startled surprise on Naruto's face. "I never wanted that fight… even now, that wasn't the type of fight I wanted."

"Why the hell should I care about what _you _want?" Sasuke leaped forward and slammed his fist into the blonde's stomach. They fought for a long while, Naruto's ferocity and the sure, steady strokes he moved in distracting Sasuke to the point where he began to suffer rather serious injuries.

Not that Naruto escaped unscathed. Sasuke almost cringed when he saw the dark marks upon the boy, saw the blood flowing from open gashes, and he felt even worse knowing that it he was _he_ who caused them.

Such was the curse of an avenger, a fallen angel.

As he gathered himself up, he saw Naruto brush one arm against his mouth, bringing up a handful of blood. The smaller boy stared at the fluid for a moment, before his eyes meet Sasuke's cold onyx eyes. "You're actually serious about this…"

Sasuke forced out a grin, although inside he was screaming in protest. Naruto had to go; he had to leave. "Yes. I'm serious about killing you."

The confusion on his face, the innocent sadness upon that small face almost broke Sasuke's heart. In a small, but clearly audible voice, Naruto asked, "Do you no longer consider me as a friend? Or was I nothing from the very beginning? Were all the times we spent together, in Team 7, working side by side… was that all meaningless to you?" The hurt was apparent in that voice; a subtle undercurrent of emotion.

"Can you look me in the eye and say that _we were never friends_?" The question was yelled out, as if darning Sasuke to answer.

"Oh, you've become much more than that to me, Naruto." A cold ironic grin formed on the raven-haired boy's face. "In fact… you've become my closest friend."

_You've become my dream come true. When will you ever see that, Naruto? When will you ever find out the feelings that I've kept hidden under layers of indifference and pure arrogance? How come you're the only one who managed to follow me so far; why did your words stop me while all the others – Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji and Kiba are left behind battling the Sound nins? _

_Why you, Naruto? I don't want to look back and remember what I had to leave behind and your presence is forcing me to do so. _

_You're never going to know just how much you mean to me. _

"That is why you are a nin worth killing."

**... Lyrics went here ...**

Naruto was the bright sunshine that drove the shadows away. Sasuke wasn't sure what he'd been doing for all those years after the massacre of his family, but whatever it was, it definitely couldn't be called living. He had drifted from year to year, a cool aloof ball of darkness. He ignored his teachers; he ignored his classmates, and most of all, he ignored the growing horde of fangirls, but he always paid attention to Iruka-sensei's teachings. If he was to be the avenger, he needed those skills.

Which was why even the icy Sasuke got annoyed when Naruto came up with one of his pranks. Whether it was something as "innocent" as hiding snakes in Iruka-sensei's desk or something major, such as painting the large Hokage monuments bright red, Sasuke felt the little flame of irritation flare up in him whenever Iruka stopped the class to go Naruto-catching.

When Iruka assigned him, Naruto and Sakura to Team 7, Sasuke had come out of his protective little shell to protest. He didn't mind Sakura that much, to say – fangirls hounded him wherever he went, so what was one extra one going to do to him? – but to have Naruto, dead last of the class and prankster extraordinaire pulling Sasuke back?

Say it isn't so!

He'd been getting so worked up about the dumb blonde boy that he didn't even notice when the fleeting shadows disappeared from his dreams. When the boy started appearing in his dreams – which usually involved a spar of some sort, oh no, Sasuke wasn't the type of boy to dream up _those_ kind of fantasies - (AN: Tsk, tsk, he's only 12, mind you.) he brushed it off as pure rivalry obsession.

No, no, no, Sasuke wasn't constantly thinking about Naruto because he liked him, or enjoyed his company, to say. It was all in his mind; after all, the last Uchiha heir had to be straight in order to carry on the bloodline and he certainly wasn't going to waste his time with something as frivolous as love… besides, Naruto was a _boy_ and a dumb blonde at that.

It took many, many incidents for Uchiha Sasuke to finally realize that there would always be a soft spot in his heart for Uzumaki Naruto.

**... More of the missing lyrics ... **

Naruto was the one who got under his skin. Sakura annoyed the hell out of him, that was true, and Kakashi-sensei's antics would have made Sasuke scream if he cared enough to bother, but Naruto was the only one who could ruffle up his feathers.

Get a reaction from that ice-cold exterior.

Prompt a biting retort from the raven-haired boy's lips.

When Sasuke leaped in front of Haku's flying needles to save Naruto's life with his own, he knew something was going on in the depths of his mind. Naruto was his rival, but that didn't mean he wanted him to _die_. Still, that didn't explain the soft serenity that infused his soul, for what was probably the first time since his family's death, knowing that the blonde would survive to live out his dreams.

When Sasuke and Kakashi materialized in the center of the stadium for his fight in the Chuunin Exam, he couldn't help the soft jolt to the heart. He knew it wasn't because of the crowd – Sasuke wasn't one to care about things like that. He either did his job properly, putting the deadly Uchiha blood skills to good use, or he'd acknowledge someone else's superiority and back off. He wasn't going to perform any better or worse because he was being watched.

Except, of course, if the eyes that watched him were pure sky blue. Naruto had looked battered and scuffed up, but the huge foxy grin upon his face was captivating. _I want to fight with you too, Naruto_, Sasuke had said, but what he really wanted to voice out was acknowledgement of Naruto's growth, that the boy with the golden tresses had more than fulfilled his potential. There were many things Sasuke wanted to say, but because of the long years of solitude and silence, he didn't know how to. So the words remained locked up under his heart, its message conveyed only by Sasuke's body language.

But Naruto had understood the implications of that statement. It was amazing how they managed to communicate with so little words.

All these actions, and more proved to Sasuke's disbelieving eyes that perhaps the fiery fox boy would be the one who pulled Sasuke out of his nightmares. Naruto was like an electric jolt to the heart; a few minutes in his presence and Sasuke would feel galvanized with power, body and mind working overtime to challenge and overtake the blonde in his abilities.

Sasuke finally found that sometimes it could be exhilarating to just be _alive. _

But he, being the stubborn bastard that he was, denied whatever amount of truth he'd achieved. He refused to believe that he felt any love for the cerulean-eyed boy, and when that fact became too obvious to ignore, he buried it under the rising jealousy he felt together with the pride at Naruto's neverending growth.

Perhaps it was that ugly head of jealousy that prompted Sasuke to follow his nightmares into the shadows – to return to his heritage. He was the fallen angel; who was he to smother Naruto's glowing candle of life with his dark embrace?

He took the apple and slipped under the snake's charm.

He ignored the tantalizing dream of friendship and love, and chose the dark, lonely road to power instead.

**... Scene break – sigh… I really do miss the lyrics ...**

Sasuke stared in morbid fascination at the blood flowing down his arms, small rivers of the scarlet lifeblood making intricate designs upon his pale skin. He could feel the essence of Naruto in every particle, in every molecule; the warmth the fluid excreted contrasted deeply with the cool mist of water spray all around them. He raised his eyes slightly and carefully studied his left arm, or at least, the stump of it that showed. The rest of his hand was buried in Naruto's right shoulder, the force of the deadly Chidori blowing a hole clean through flesh and bone. Sasuke could feel his fingers protruding through the other side of Naruto's shoulder, and the gory intimacy of their position made Sasuke burst out in chilling, hysteric laughter.

"Kukuku… hahahahahha!" _If you want the Mangekyou Sharingan, you must kill your closest friend. Seize the power… than come look for me._ Itachi's words echoed through his numb brain.

Seize the power… even if it meant killing Naruto?

_Kill him_.

'I cannot.'

_Kill him! Kill him if you want to kill me, my youngest brother!_

'No, I _won't_.'

_Embrace your fate and be the avenger that you are! Kill the boy! _

'I won't!'

He pulled his hand out of Naruto, blood gushing through the open gap, and threw the blonde brutally away from him.

Sasuke was breathing heavily now. The memories of Itachi that were invoked by the bloodshed and the reality of what he just did to Naruto were beginning to dawn on him.

Was this what his love for the cheery blonde boy prompted him to do?

"Can you read my mind, Naruto?" Sasuke snarled, bringing his bloodied hand up, studying it with utmost concentration. "I've punctured your lungs; you can't breathe, let alone move. Why don't you just lie there and _leave me alone?"_

"Sasuke…" Naruto's voice rasped, the wheeze audible as the younger boy struggled for breath. "I always knew… that you were a loner… that you and I… were one of a kind."

That golden blonde hair was streaked with crimson red. It flashed briefly in the sun.

Naruto rose on one knee, his hand going to the wide hole in his shoulder in a futile attempt to staunch the red flow. "You had everything you needed; everyone loved you. I considered you my rival, but then… you acknowledged me."

With painful effort, he rose to his feet, swaying dangerously before something in his eyes snapped. "I always thought that we were friends… and because of that, I won't give you to Orochimaru!"

**... Break ...**

Sasuke's large, onyx eyes widened.

A huge vortex of power swirled around Naruto's small form, surrounding him, enclosing him in its fiery embrace. The alien red-brown chakra felt deadly to Sasuke's heightened senses. Naruto's eyes slipped from pure blue into feral red gold, the orbs angling until they became catlike slits, the marks on his face lengthening until he resembled an animal.

The foreign chakra surrounded the gaping wound in Naruto's shoulder, and with a hissing noise, the wound began to heal, flesh and tendon materializing, building on each other until finally a thin layer of skin covered it. Only the large tear in Naruto's jacket showed any sign that the boy had suffered any injury, but the skin underneath it was smooth and unmarred.

Sasuke stared at the wound – or rather, the lack of it.

"What the hell are you!"

Naruto's answer was soft and serious, but never had Sasuke heard a more resounding phrase.

"A friend."

**... break ...**

"When I'm with Iruka-sensei… I wonder what it's like to have a father."

_Why Naruto, why? Why do you have to make it so hard for me? Why can't you just let me go? Stop trying to convince me otherwise… you have so much to live for, so much to dream for. I have nothing; only a dead, dusty thirst for vengeance and a cold, black heart. There's nothing left in me, but you brought me back. I can't give in, Naruto… I _have_ to go. It's all I live for now: it is only with Itachi's death that I can find peace… true peace. _

_Only than can I be with you. _

"When I'm with you… I wonder what it's like to have a brother."

_It's funny the way things have turned out… in my attempt to save guard you, and to prevent myself from being tempted, I almost killed you… killed you, with my bare arms, in cold blood. I don't really deserve to be your brother. I don't deserve to be your anything. You're the one who always lived in my dreams, yet I am the nightmare who pulled you down. _

_What are you thinking now, Naruto? _

**... break ...**

Their lives were mirror images of each other, but contrasting, like yin and yang; both alone, but one fiery, the other ice cool. One loud, obnoxious, saying everything on his mind, the other tight lipped, guarding every word he spoke like a princess with her coveted jewels. Even their auras clashed with each other.

Somehow, their most powerful jutsus ironically represented that difference. The cold blue glow of Chidori threw the shadows on Sasuke's face into high relief, bleaching his already pale skin a deadly white. He wondered what he looked like, with the second level of Orochimaru's curse seal coursing through his veins. Naruto was glowing in an overwhelming shield of chakra; the shimmering ball of Rasengan standing out amongst the rusty brown-red energy that had somehow taken the shape of a fox.

His eyes were an unnatural color of red; the whisker marks adorning his cheeks had lengthened. Sasuke wondered how he could notice such intricate details in the heat of battle.

Moments later, he wondered how he could _not_.

Naruto was beautiful. No matter how much he changed, no matter how bloodied he became; he was breathtaking in Sasuke's biased eyes. Sasuke felt his wings flare open, lifting him from the ledge and projecting him towards Naruto, who in turn came flying towards him, the unnatural chakra seeming to buoy him up against the air.

It was a dead rush. Neither could veer from each other. In their hands were the glowing products of their jutsus – the culmination of all their strength. It was the ammunition of that charge, the deciding factor to prove who was stronger than the other.

His eyes were beautiful, although he missed the carefree blue they customarily looked like. Those golden blonde tresses looked soft and he longed to run his hands through it. The hand cupping the ball of energy was lengthened, the fingers ending in claws, but that didn't change the fact that they were perfectly proportioned. They came close enough that Sasuke could see the fangs peeking past those luscious lips. Their hands crashed together, Chidori and Rasengan battling for dominance, and Sasuke could still see, could _feel_ the stern determination, the fiery glow that radiated from the blonde.

The world blazed and faded into a whirlwind of unbearable white.

**... Scene Break ...**

It was quiet.

Peaceful.

It was raining, but the small droplets of water that drizzled gently upon Sasuke's body were soft and caressing. Cushioned on his lap was Naruto, his normally scruffy blonde hair now limp and heavy with water. Almost as if the hair reflected the health status of its owner.

Sasuke's own long bangs hung wetly, framing his pale face, dribbles of water trickling down his skin. His eyes were undecipherable, although there was a glimmer of emotion that was normally absent.

Those dark orbs stared down at the prone figure lying across his lap and Sasuke suppressed the urge to hug the warm body against his own. He resolutely kept his hands behind his back, although his left hand was throbbing from the excessive chakra buildup he'd created when he slammed his Chidori against Naruto's Raisengan.

_I have to go now, Naruto. Don't worry about me, because I'll be okay. A fiery shooting star like you shouldn't worry about a fallen angel like me. I belong to the darkness; you don't. You can't follow me, nor can you convert me to the light. I'll just corrupt you with my tainted blood. _

_I'm sorry, Naruto, for everything I've done. I know you expected so much more from me, but I just can't give it… But I promise you, I'll be back someday. We'll probably be on opposite sides of the alliance, but we will see each other again. _

_That's my dream, Naruto. After Itachi's death at my hands, I'll find you, okay? That will be my only purpose in life after my duty as the Uchiha avenger. You'll grant a dying angel his last wish, won't you? You'll help him fulfill his dream, right? I know you will, because that's just how you are, what your ninja way is. You'll never give up. _

_I don't know what you really think of me, and I guess I'll never find out now, will I? Then again… I never found the courage to tell you how I felt. There are no words in all the languages of the world to express how I felt, how I feel right now, because you defy the ordinary. Words won't do for you. They're black and white and meaningless. _

_I know you think I hate you, that I don't give a damn about you. I do, with all my cold, broken heart – whatever's left of it. I've acted like the damned bastard that I always thought I was, only to find that the organized, sequenced life I lead turned completely upside down when you and I were pushed into the same Team. I've always pretended, hidden under that cold exterior I portrayed… _

_But it doesn't change the fact that you were the light at the end of the tunnel for me. Not one bit. _

_I wonder what Kakashi-sensei and Sakura will think. _

_Does that even matter? I don't think so. Your opinion is all that matters now, my Naruto. _

Sasuke lifted the boy's head from his lap and laid him gently on the ground. Almost tenderly, shyly, he brushed one pale finger over Naruto's blonde hair, tracing the contours of his face, touching with feather light strokes from the closed eyes to the high cheekbones and whiskery marks to the small, pointed chin, as if trying to memorize each and every feature of that lovely face with his fingertips.

He stood up, black hair flying in the wind. A forehead protector fell, hitting the floor next to the blonde's face; the spiraling symbol of the Konoha leaf marred by a deep, horizontal gash across the metal.

Rain. He always loved the rain. They masked the tears upon his face.

_**A part of me will always be with you.**_

_I'm leaving, Naruto. Don't… don't die. Don't give up. Someone will find you, sooner or later, so you'll only have to hold on for that long. Live your dreams for both of us. It's selfish of me, but it's the only satisfaction – pure, untainted satisfaction - a dying angel like me can have. _

_I hope I'll always be a part of your life, because you are an inseparable part of mine. You were there when I was sitting by that lake when we were young, trying to make friends with me. You're there with every step I take; you're there challenging and pushing me with every new assignment Kakashi-sensei gave us. You're there whenever I think of Itachi and my fate, and your presence is what pulls me back from that train of thought. You're there whenever I'm at home, lonely and sick of the darkness. And I know you'll continue to be there as I walk into Orochimaru's lair, just like you'll be there with me through every trial I'll go through for the next three years. You'll be there, just the way you've always been there – in spirit, if not in body. _

_You know you'll always have my love. _

Those dark obsidian eyes warmed for a moment as they watched the small lying figure on the floor. Those pair of eyes traced the outline of that body, drinking in the sight, before they closed. Then they vanished, as fleeting as the wind, as if they never existed.

_Because you're my living dream… Naruto. _

_

* * *

AN: I've got to say that after writing this I don't feel as badly towards Sasuke for abandoning the Leaf now… Somehow, Sasuke's character just pulls through to me as that. Anyhow, hope you like it!_


End file.
